As an escort, I try to keep it somewhat professional, but sometimes, it's hard because I get customer crushes!!! It always makes me so sad because I realize that they're paying to have fun with me, but some of them are so super cute and nice to me that I can't help but...you know...*blush.* But then, I realize that it like, doesn't really matter how I feel about them because they probably will never feel the same way. :( I find myself sometimes getting upset or jealous if they stop hiring me because they find another girl to devote their time to. Then I get really sad. Like, really REALLY sad. Because nobody wants me for just me!!! Nobody except Dair, but he's never around nowadays. So I think it's a good thing that I've been so busy in RL with school cuz otherwise I might find myself feeling really depressed!
When I was on SL a lot, I spent much of my time dancing or hanging out with friends, but what I really wanted was a special someone in SL to spend my time with. Someone I could just be Tomomi with. You know, silly, cute and sometimes really corny, but totally lovable and adorable. Not Sexy Escort Tomomi. That's all just an act. :( It's one that I don't like doing all the time. I even tried an SL dating service thing, but I kept getting messages from people who thought it was hot that I'm an escort and that my personality was cute. The conversations would usually be something like, "Hey, you seem really adorable!" Which, of course, I'm like, Anyaaaaa~! He thinks I'm cuuuuute! <3 But then, I read on. "Would you like to do a threesome sometime with me and my girl? :)" Then I'm like, (T.T) He doesn't actually like me, he's just another horny dude!!! Noooooo, I'm undatable!! *falls into a pit of nothingness, looking like the Scream*
So yeah, it's not easy for me to nab a guy in SL, and the ones that I do become drawn to end up dismissing me and running off with another girl, leaving me to just be by myself again. Like, I actually literally get a little like teary about it because I just want some lovin'!!! Is that too much to ask?? And not fuckin', like I actually just want someone to like me because I'm funny, cute and quick-witted, not because of my job!
Anyways, that will be all for now! I'm so tired of this! Stupid job! If I didn't love it so much, I'd just drop it and be as boring and normal as possible! Sigh. #escortingproblems
Why can't Dair be around all the time? He likes me and I like him. Sobbu. (TvT)
xo, Tomo
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